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About Literature / Student Member Ducky Grotto McEisenheimUnited States Recent Activity
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Masukee's Profile Picture
Masukee
Ducky Grotto McEisenheim
Artist | Student | Literature
United States
Hey there. I'm a writer, poet, and occasional dabbler in sketching. Cheers to self-expression.
Interests
  • Mood: Bliss
  • Listening to: Honeybee
  • Reading: Britain Since 1707
  • Watching: Let's Play - Chivalry Medieval Warfare
I just realized that you can enter a state of total euphoria all on your lonesome, and while it's a lonely ascent, it's a pretty exhilarating journey all on its own. All you have to do is find that song that makes you long to fall in love and think about it when you're surrounded by something that piques your interest. Fall in love without falling in love. I think I've mastered the art of loving completely without loving at all.

Activity


Tonight, for a wild hour,
I was an amoeba.
I made friends with an eye
that could see everything,
and I was not alone.
There was love in that eye.

There was love inside me.
But walking away from my amoeba form,
in my confidence,
I must confess,
I lost my will to take human shape.
I fell.

I fell, a star cast from the clustered galaxy.
I fell, a shadow, sinking into earth.
But one cannot de-evolve from logic.
One cannot forsake humanity
once one has drank from its cup.
I was forgotten.

I was forgotten and forsaken,
because one does not see,
when in the scope of an observer,
the inherent flaws in the other state.
So I did not see the flaws in humanity.
Until it was too late.

It was far too late.
I had grown many things from my amoeba state:
legs to walk with, arms to reach,
a whole face new to me, all my own,
and, most importantly,
a heart.

I had grown a head and found logic.
I had grown a heart and found much more.
A depth in me was reached that I tunneled through happily.
I loved, because I was allowed to love.
I did not see the flaw in my digging,
only some goal on the distant side.

There was no goal.
Instead, there was regret.
When eyes of a different hue caught mine,
there was some sort of spark between them,
and our minds, they melded, did they not,
in swirling patterns so beautiful to see.

A swirling pattern of two colors.
That was what we were.
I told you of my retained status--
the immortality of the last of my amoeba traits--
and, to my shock, you scorned me.
I was blistered.

My skin, even now, burns to think of it.
I now stand a distant memory to something I once loved,
my heart shoveled through so maddeningly
that it hurts to beat.
You said your piece to me,
and I left you to your happiness.

Yes, I left you to your happiness.
I left you all of mine, too.
I left you, and in the process,
I grew to realize that I was ready.
I was ready to leave me, too.
But I couldn't.

No, one cannot forsake humanity
once one has drank its fill from its cup.
I cannot return to an amorphous existence.
My path has long since turned course.
I have taken to laying near the ground,
feeling the ghosts of familiar sensations.

Here I lay, a star cast from the clustered galaxy.
Here I lay, a shadow, sinking into earth.
But one cannot de-evolve from logic.
One cannot forsake humanity
once one has drank from its cup.
And so, I was forgotten.
the observer and the amoeba.
I played a board game tonight with my good friends, and I played an amoeba character. I grew to really like him.

I formed an alliance with a friend playing a character called 'the observer', which was neat beyond all comparison. We literally didn't ever fight if we could help it. It was awesome. 
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Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: ideologically sensitive material)
Dear suicidal thoughts,
You are a few new faces in the crowd 
of cognitive dissonance 
that usually populates my mind 
when the kindly white noise has left 
his post.

I never expected to see you, 
despite the fact that I was given fair warning 
that one day it may strike your fancy 
to pay little old me a visit, 
pop in for a chat.

Yet, despite disbelief, 
here you are, egging me to scoot closer to the window 
during a friendly gathering, 
coaxing me to think of what it would be like 
to jump onto the pavement three stories below 
or more simply freeze in place in the chill. 

Ho hum. You are inconveniencing, 
with the way you make me cry sometimes, 
or are you an extension of the tears? 
Either way, you have taken my independent self 
and made a simpering weakling of zir. 

Hmm. How rude. 
Why are you allowed to well in my gut, 
make me fearful of my future? 
Make me doubt my strong cowardice, 
my one defense against you? 

You came equipped with weapons I built no defense for. 
You are strong,
but you labor under the misapprehension 
that I am somehow weak. 
I am not weak. 

I will rise from the prison you built me. 
My insecurities, my feelings of neglect, and loneliness, and suffering-- 
they will crumble like sand, and I will rise, 
perhaps somebody worth my weight in failures, 
perhaps the same pseudo-sapien I have always been. 

Regardless, this is my tale, not yours. 
Even if we have started a battle, I have already won, 
because I can see you there, and though I am terrified, 
I know your face. I have exposed you. 
Now I can move against you. 

I can plan an attack and follow through. 
I can prove to you that while you received an invitation and accepted it, 
you are not allowed to rule me. 
I have but one master, 
and that is myself. 

You can be here. 
You may never go away, and that is fine; 
history is not made through radio silence. 
But you are not my everything,
and I'll never let you be.
sunlight capsules.
Typed on an iPod. Did autocorrect fuck me?

Hello darkness, my old friend. I've come to talk with you again.
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:iconneverstopsmiling54:
neverstopsmiling54 Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Student Photographer
I love yoooouuuu soooOoOOOoooo much <3 and I very much miss your pretty face c: 
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(1 Reply)
:iconheart-of-despair:
Heart-Of-Despair Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Student Writer
I miss you.
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(1 Reply)
:iconc4pnshota:
C4PNshota Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconspnlover::iconthanksplz:for the:+fav:
Much appreciated~:iconlokiapprovesplz::iconhiddlesapprovesplz:
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:iconhappyasasam:
HappyAsASam Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2012  Student Writer
Oh my gosh Kaboo, I love your ID photo!!!!!!! <3
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(1 Reply)
:iconfestivejester:
festivejester Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012
:iconemotethanks1plz::iconemotethanks2plz::iconemotethanks3plz::iconemotethanks4plz::iconemotethanks5plz: :icongrin--plz:
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(1 Reply)
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